The Couch

What were some of the things you looked forward to as a child for when you became a grown up? I had a few and they were: to drive a car, to own a wallet with money in it, to go to the movies just so I could eat popcorn, to be a hero of some sort, preferably one of those that save a child from a burning building, and not to have my rice and beans touch. Yes, having my rice and beans on the same plate but not touching was worth looking forward to. It bothered me when the grown-ups would mix them all up in my plate. Why they could not just leave the beans to the side of the rice is still a mystery to me.

But the thing I looked forward to most was to own a couch. Size, colour or brand did not matter. All I wanted was it to belong to me. I would sit on it for as long as my body would allow.

In my childhood home, sitting on the couch was strictly for grown ups and violating this rule was one of the domestic crimes punishable by thorough canning. When other kids indulged in sophisticated daring acts like sneaking out of the house at bed time to go play, we got our adrenaline fix by sitting on the couch with one eye keeping watch for the grown ups. We would bribe the maid with offers to do extra chores in exchange to letting us sit on the couch without telling on us.

When grown ups had their gatherings, we would take turns going past the sitting room entrance just to catch a glimpse of them on the couch and sit vicariously through them. Some days after a successful bribery exchange, we would sit on the couch and get carried away watching some silly cartoon like Johnny Bravo only to be jolted to reality by the door bell. In one swift move we would slide on the floor with the agility of a circus contortionist and at the same time straightening the butt dents left on the couch. This was an art we had mastered well and if by any chance you were too slow to manoeuvre, the rule was to take your beatings like a soldier. With each beating I willed myself to grow up faster so I could earn the right to sit on the couch.

As nature would have it, I did grow up, and therefore earned the privilege of sitting on the couch freely, okay, maybe semi-freely. I used this privilege as a form of getting things done by my siblings. “If you do what I say I will let you sit on the couch for 5 minutes, ” I’d say. I loved sitting on that couch! Occasionally I’d  invite my friends for a visit just so they could sit on the couch, but most importantly to see me sitting on it too because it confirmed that I was no longer a child.

One day I was enjoying this couch pleasure when a grown up showed up out of absolutely nowhere! I instinctively flinched and assumed the manoeuvre position when I remembered I was grown up too so I remained seated. Senior grown up however didn’t seem pleased. She glared at me and in a stern voice asked I had contributed any money towards buying the couch. Confused, I could only shake my head in response. She took one step towards me and in a split second I was on the floor. The message was loud and clear, these were her couches and we had no business sitting on them. Just like that my privilege was gone.

As I sat on that floor watching the television through tears, I  set a goal for myself and ran towards it. One day I was going to buy my own couch and I would sit on it all day whilst I drank coca cola. This day came was I was 26 years old. I had saved enough money to afford a couch and nothing was going to get in my way. I picked a leather couch, a white one so you could see it as soon as you walked through the door. On the day it was delivered, I cooked rice and beans, then I dialled my manager and told her I’d bought a couch and I needed two days off. I sat on my couch all day that day and the day after that. I ate my rice and beans on it, served side by side;not touching.