Stockings! Can’t leave with them. End of sentence.

You know how sometimes you wear stockings just to add that professional spring to your step at work? Yes, so I used to and still do this every now and then. I don’t know about you but it’s so hard to find ones that will stay up! Seriously, why do I even bother?  Mine would start riding down at the same exact spot; The Bridge in South bank which by the way was not close to work.

By the time I’d get to the lift, the stockings would be so low that I feared if I coughed or looked at someone they would slide right off of me like some sort of alien. Apologies to those who may have met me in the lift and thought I was being snobbish. Also, if anyone had been keeping tabs they would have wondered why I always sprinted to the toilet first then emerge with a bulge on my left hip and relieved look on my face. The bulge meant i had managed to tie knot to stabilize the stockings, and relief would mean i took them off completely.

Anyway I went and found me a solution, as you do. I got one of those bloomers/Bridget Jones undies and decided to wear them on top of the stockings, boom! problem solved! I was so proud of myself in fact I was already composing my speech for when receive my award for my creativity or tell Ellen all about it.

This strategy was working and things were going so well. One of those fine days I was feeling and looking all glamorous complete with my best strut. Then the unthinkable happened! The stockings started ridding down, and yes, you guessed it, they were taking the bloomers with them! I quickly looked around in panic to see if anyone was watching me. Why oh why did i pick the floral ones? of all days! So I slowed down my pace completely, that way the stocking would ride slower and give me time to get at least to the lift right? WRONG!! They went lower with every step. I found myself walking like a duck, something between bow legs and sumo squats. What’s worse? I wasn’t even at the bridge yet!

Second Incident

This other time I stepped out of the house, again feeling smart and willing anyone and everyone to look at moi. They did! Must behave been one of those” you attract what you think moments”. Some even stopped to admire as I walked past. This was truly one of the days that I was on top of the world. I silently thanked my aunty for picking out the blue skirt suit for me.

I got to the train station, more looks! Even passengers inside the train were looking at me, I mean come on wow! Train comes to a stop and as I get in I steal a glance at myself on the window only to see my image staring right back at me with stockings on the head! You know those brown ones with a knot on top and little fluff balls all over. No wonder people were staring, I must have looked like a very smart sleepwalker!

Toni, if you are reading this, I apologize. It must have been one of those days I called in sick out of sheer embarrassment.

Don’t just sit there and laugh, let’s hear your stocking story.

#CathyAollRambles